Stupid EOBs, Edition 1

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An EOB, for the unitiated, is an Explanation of Benefits. More often, they are better described as Obfuscations of Benefits.

This one is from Aetna. It purports to explain why they did not pay me for a session:

 "The member's plan provides benefits for covered expenses at the plan's recognized percentile level of charges received by Aetna for the same service."

Are these people for real?

This is from the actual Remarks section of an actual Explanation Obfuscation of Benefits received in the mail today:

Remarks
D214 -- We have reviewed your previously denied claim. We have found you to be eligible and are overturning your denial for that reason. Your claim has been reconsidered and has been denied. . .