Docsplainin' -- it's what I do

Docsplainin'--it's what I do.
After all, I'm a doc, aren't I?



Saturday, January 17, 2009

A monstrous ethical dilemma

I just finished reading Stephen White's first novel, Privileged Information (Viking, 1991; 363 pp.). I'm surprised I'd never heard of him before, because I love murder mysteries and I particularly love those written by or about psychologists. But somehow I'd missed this one: A friend, in town for the holidays, turned me on to it. "Be sure and start with the first one," she said, and I did.



At first, I didn't like it. It wasn't all that well-written, in the beginning at least, and I thought the ethical problem was kind of contrived. But it picks up along the way.

Here's the dilemma. The novel opens with the suicide of a patient. The patient unfortunately wrote up her sexual fantasies about her therapist, the protagonist of the novel, in her diaries without identifying them as fantasy. The executor of her estate reads them, and thinking that the protagonist, Dr. Alan Gregory, not only may have been sleeping with his patient but may have precipitated her suicide by doing so, files a complaint.

Gregory certainly is in a bit of a pinch here, because the complaint hits the papers and of course the therapy community is abuzz about it as well. Gregory can say nothing in his defense, publicly at least, due to patient confidentiality. He of course can defend himself before the licensing board, but that is not the problem here. What felt contrived to me was that he seems to think he can't talk to his colleague and business partner, his lawyer, or even his clinical supervisor about the case, which is completely incorrect. He can. And should.

But this is a relatively minor flaw in the book, because as it turns out the privileged information of the title primarily refers to another patient altogether, one whom Gregory begins to suspect of murder. Now he really is in a bind, because he cannot reveal what the patient is up to without a more clear and convincing threat to a specific person. Which the patient is smart enough not to give him. So the rest of the novel turns around how to stop a killing without giving away privileged information.

Along the way, Gregory, who is completely innocent of the boundary violations with which he is charged, does manage to rationalize some other, serious ethical breaches. And his final solution is not ethically perfect, either. It's creative, though, and it does solve the problem.

White is himself a psychologist who practices in Boulder, CO. In his writing he gives a good picture of the life of a psychologist. But ethical issues not addressed in this novel include (1) Gregory seeing 38 people a week when his caseload is its usual size, and (2) Gregory continuing to work while his personal and professional life crumble around him. He also takes on a patient who represents a clear conflict of interest. He should have referred this guy on during the first session--but then, if he had, there would have been no novel, so I guess we're stuck with that.

Gregory makes boodles of money seeing 38 people a week, but my God. When does he do anything else? Like billing, charting, reading, eating lunch, going to the bathroom... He books people back to back, referring once to "my 3:00 and my 3:45" so he's not doing any of this between sessions. I once interviewed for a job with a psychologist who claimed to see 50 to 55 patients a week: My first instinct was to run like hell. That can't be healthy. You can't possibly, in my humble opinion, maintain a high standard of performance at that level.

He is also working with a couple while his own marriage is breaking up, and one has to wonder if how he sees his own relationship troubles is biasing his view of what the couple he's treating "should" do with theirs.

And finally, he takes on a client who had an affair with a former client. I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole. Or as a former colleague of mine used to say, a 12-foot Russian.

So we hope White doesn't practice like that. And while the book gives a better portrayal of the profession than, say, Prince of Tides, I'd still warn you to take it with a grain of salt (it is, after all, fiction). The Alex Delaware novels by Jonathan Kellerman are much better in that regard. I've read them all and the worst thing I can recall Dr. Delaware doing is having a drink at lunch when he has a patient to see in the afternoon.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Rx

It has happened occasionally in my career that I have wound up holding drugs for a client. Sometimes, a client leaves them locked up in a file cabinet for safekeeping. More often, I have persuaded clients to turn over a "suicide stash," which my pharmacist disposes of for me. But never before have I confiscated meds prescribed to a person who the MD knew abused the drug, overdosed on it twice, and had even been in detox for it. Couldn't believe it.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My apologies to every student upon whom I have ever inflicted these PowerPoint-isms. I promise to do better in the coming weeks.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

It's Called "Assertiveness"

Reassigned Time: Taking Care of Self = Losing Patience with Others

Crazy's got another great topic going over at Reassigned Time. She's figuring out on the 4th day of this New Year that to keep some of her Resolutions, she's going to not only be saying "yes" to things that are good for her, but saying "no" to other people's requests in order to clear the decks.

She wrote:
Well, I'm going to have to learn to say no more frequently and more forcefully, because if I keep saying yes to idiots, I will end by making a lot of enemies, I fear. So, perhaps the taking care of the body business and putting oneself before other things does actually produce the very results that the goal aims to produce, for it turns out that although I did not resolve to say no more frequently, I'll have to do so if I don't want people to hate me for being a meanie. This is kind of awesome.

She's learning quickly what I find to be true for women as a rule--to wit, that we tend to say "yes" to everything, and then there's either no time for the things that are really important to us, or we, in trying to do too much, wind up doing none of it very well. We miss deadlines, let people down, resent the hell out of them... and nobody's happy, least of all us.

I disagree, though, that taking care of ourselves means losing patience with others. Probably because I don't define "patience" as meaning doing things for people that they could/should do for themselves, I find that we can learn to set limits/boundaries quite patiently--albeit firmly: It's called "assertiveness." What tends to happen here--and here is where the "more forcefully" part comes in--is that people who are used to you saying "yes" all the time won't like it when you start saying "no." You are violating the unspoken contract you've always operated on with them (this is true of society as a whole, too, by the way). So they will tend to ask again, and again, or ask more forcefully, or start trying to guilt-trip you (see the discussion on bitchiness, below). And then sometimes we lose our patience with them (and start yelling, "What is it about 'no' that you don't understand? Read my lips! NO!!"). This is, as my mother would say, "not attractive."

So here's where the patience part comes in. We have to remember that, human nature being what it is, people are going to resist change in us. If we see resistance, that actually means we are doing something right--that is to say, we are changing, and people are noticing. That is a Good Thing. And we have to remember that we are teaching them something new about us in particular and about the world around them in general, and that takes time. One-trial learning is not going to happen here.

And saying "no" in and of itself doesn't really make us "meanies", either. Men say "no" all the time, unfortunately women aren't supposed to. We will be perceived as meanies if we are assertive about our limits and boundaries, but it is not the same. Years and years ago (back before the Flood, but never mind--I digress) there was an article in Working Woman magazine on the subject of bitchiness. And the author wrote that "bitch" stands for "being in total control of herself". It's a socio-cultural gender thing. It's also a grand manipulation: People individually, and our culture as a whole, both use the B-word on us when they are not getting their way. It's intended to shame us into caving in to whatever it is they are wanting at the moment, or in society's case, into not demanding whatever we are demanding at the moment. It's about some other person or institution or other kind of group taking control back from us.

(By the way, you can't allow that to happen. In terms of the teaching process, it will set you way back with that particular individual/group/institution. You have to be consistent, persistent.)

But getting back to where we were, I believe that what does make us meanies is when we say "yes" and then resent the hell out of it later, becoming cranky or passive-aggressive, or worse, both. Crazy's right-on in perceiving that saying "yes" when you mean "no" is a prescription for angry outbursts and/or building resentments. A trick I learned for avoiding that is to (a) try not to answer one way or the other right away--ask the requester for time to think about it, put 'em on hold, whatever you have to do to buy yourself some time, and (b) when I've already said "yes" and realized that was a mistake, to go back to the requester and say, "I spoke too soon when I told you I would [whatever].... Sorry, won't be able to do that after all. Nope. Not gonna happen. No, sirree." It's bad form, not to say awkward, but it beats being mad or resentful, and you won't have to do it too many times before you learn not to say "yes" in the first place!

And Crazy is also correct that learning to say "no" without biting people's heads off requires practice. I therefore sometimes advise people, just for practice, to say "yes" to three things that they would ordinarily deny themselves, and "no" to three people they would normally accede to, per week until they get the hang of this. Learning how to do this, and do it well, is, as Crazy says, "kind of awesome."

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Wounded

Untitled: © Irina Sidorowicz - Visit NoHappy.com to see additional artwork and photography. The artist studies Graphic Design and Visual Communication in Buenos Aires.

This picture, posted as a writing prompt at Every Picture Tells a Story is powerfully evocative for me. My first reaction was that she is Palestinian, but she quickly became bigger than that. She is Afghan, too, married at ten or eleven to a man decades older than she. Then she became all wounded women.

Inside every battered woman, every woman who was sexually abused as a child, every rape survivor, lives a girl-woman like this. However bright and strong and confident she may look on the outside, and they do, this wounded girl-woman looks out from behind her eyes. I may see a flicker in the first session, or I may not catch a glimpse until she's been here a few times.

If I can earn her trust, sometimes she will come out.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Reassigned Time: 2009 Here I Come - Resolutions

In Dr. Crazy's post, Reassigned Time: 2009 Here I Come - Resolutions, she points out the importance of not only (1) making resolutions that are achievable, and (2) thinking of them more as goals than as resolutions, but most important of all, (3) thinking of each resolution as a favor you are doing yourself which you have earned and deserve. She writes:
...when Things happen, the first thing to suffer is me. Working out, or eating well, or taking time to relax, or getting enough sleep, or whatever, well, that has been the first thing I've dropped throughout the history of me. ...when I drop me, in my head it's a present to myself .... A mountain of overdue grading vs. cooking dinner? ...I have to do the grading whatever the case, and so don't I "deserve" not to go to the gym, which I do not enjoy? ... It's easy to let myself go. I like it. Partly because the ways in which I typically let myself go are quite enjoyable. I mean, who doesn't like to eat food that's bad for one...I've typically characterized "self-care" things as the antithesis of things that will make me happy or that will make any material difference in my life. ...

... I totally need to shift my perception of what it means to take care of myself. ... to think about it less as a chore and more as a reward. I've accomplished so much in the past 10 years. ...And so why not think of focusing on me ... as the reward? Why exactly is it that I've convinced myself that cooking dinner isn't something that's "important" compared to other tasks on the to-do list?

I need to take care of myself ... first. Period. Like as a non-negotiable thing. ...not as "extras" that can be let go, or as chores that need to be done, but as just normal, everyday things that make me happy and that are just part of my life.
Which is why, without realizing it, I made some of the resolutions I did. They are all things I do anyway, like walk the dog and take pictures, that I simply want to do more of because they make me happy. So they are (1) totally achievable. They also aren't really resolutions, in the sense that people, for example, typically resolve to stop smoking or lose ten pounds. I don't know whether that makes them (2) goals or not, but I have found that it makes all the difference in the world if you put your resolutions/goals/whatever in positive terms. In other words, belay the stops and nots and loses.

The key for me, as I suspect is true for most (if not all) of us, is not to let any of my goals go by the wayside because something presumably more important comes up. I like Crazy's new point of view that she's already earned the right to treat herself well, that she's already paid her dues. She doesn't have to do the grading before she can let herself fix a nice dinner: That's already bought and paid for.

So here goes (3): I have done a heckuva lot already in this lifetime. I have earned four degrees--count 'em, four--married, established a household, bred Boykins, raised a son, established a practice, employed some people, thereby enabling them to make a living, supervised some people all the way to full licensure, taught some kids a few things, helped some patients, been a good friend to a few good women, adopted two birds and a dog (we adopted the child, too, but it is different) and probably more in my 56 years if I thought about it longer. I deserve to take more photographs, walk more dog, laugh more, love more, live more.

And so do you.

New Year's Resolutions

  1. Take more photographs
  2. Watch more birds
  3. Walk more dog
  4. Laugh more
  5. Write more
  6. Take more time off
  7. Love more
  8. Live more

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